I’m sad to say…

That I’m losing my battle with my diagnosis.

It’s been a rough few weeks and the outlook still looks bleak. I know I need this time to care for myself but unfortunately when I’m in the darkest parts of my depression, anxiety, paranoia, anger, guilt and shame, it’s hard to see a way out.

I want to feel happy and grateful for my opportunities and for what I’ve worked for but currently I am broken. I feel frustrated about the constant up and downs of what I am feeling and I am starting to lose the fight.

I don’t want sympathy. I’m beyond solutions. I know I just need to accept how I feel and “sit” with it.

I just feel like I owe it to you, my readers, to show you all sides of me throughout my journey so you can see what it’s like for someone like me and decide whether you want to bear with me through this dark time.

To those of us who are suffering; I pray that you get through the day and make it to tomorrow.

I’m hoping to be back to a sense of normality in the upcoming week but that’s the thing with a mental illness. There’s no time limit and unfortunately no steadfast cure…

It came when it wanted and will leave when it wants.

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