They say that to make sure you really want something The Universe will throw up all sorts of roadblocks and disasters to try and deter you..
Do you what I say to that?
Bring. It. On.
The Christmas/New Year period was hard but not as bad as I was expecting and what’s more, I got through it.
Then came New Year’s Day and my resilience was tested.
For every step I was taking forward I kept feeling like I was going two steps back and on this particular day I felt that everything I was doing and working towards was in vain.
It became abundantly clear that fear and shame is still very prominent in mental illnesses within the Indian community. We are a long way from the love and compassion which some of us so desperately need.
I was angry at what I thought was the little impact I made. I was angry that the message behind my writing was being lost and the focus was on the naming and blaming of certain individuals instead of understanding and listening to the overall story.
I was going to quit writing. I was going to delete my blog and keep my mouth shut like many would have preferred but then something came to me.
I want people to open their eyes to what the implications are for those being forced to keep quiet about their mental illnesses and the only way to do that was to keep writing.
I am willing to open up and show you all my deepest darkest secrets at the risk of ostracising myself even further from my Indian community.
Because I don’t want anyone else to feel the way I have felt. I want to keep writing to help give others the opportunity they need to come forward in a safe and loving way. To help them realise that they are not alone and will find the support they need to stop surviving and start thriving.
So for those of you who are scared for me, angry at me, ashamed at me, embarrassed for me, hate me, judge me, are annoyed at me — I’m not going anywhere
So get used to it.