Life…uhhh..finds a way

Oh heyyyyyyyyy

I hope you have all enjoyed my last 2 videos. I’m quite enjoying coming to you in a different way although I’m pretty sure Michael is soon going to be either getting the royal ARSE editing my videos for me or is going to start charging me! Only time will tell 😬

Anyway I thought I might come to you tonight through the power of the written word! And what I wanted to share with you is this….

Are you living your best life? And if not, when are you GOING to live your best life?

A good friend of mine asked me that question a month ago and I literally had no answer because I wasn’t living my best life and I didn’t know when I was going to start. It took yet again another monumental breakdown of everything I tried so hard to build for me to start the journey of being my best self and living my best life. It’s true what they say once you’ve hit rock bottom the only way is up and having hit rock bottom a number of times I can attest to that!

So what happened? I got a job at a mental health charity and soon after my grandad died. That set off my BPD and that led to be being, for lack of a better word, fired. Now, in the past I would have given up there and then and blamed myself & true to form I did initially want to do that BUT something occurred to me. I had to fight this. This was wrong – I couldn’t allow myself to go through yet another unfair dismissal without at least putting my point across. So I did. It sounds pretty victorious but I actually was super close to suicide and had to get major intervention

BUT I came through it, I persevered.

Now, of course you know life isn’t all unicorns, rainbows and gummy bears and it took me, yet again, a long time to get back up but each time I get back up after a hideous set back something in me changes. I learn something and this time I learned that I need to start living my best life.

I decided that I needed to do things that set fire to my soul, that brought me and others joy! I needed to forgive myself and those that hurt me and start living in the present and embrace all that I had to be thankful for. I realised that my life was moving rapidly and it was moving rapidly without me. I was missing so much that was happening in the present because I was still thinking about what I lost in the past!

It was like a light bulb moment.

I feel like someone had pulled back the cloudy veil from my eyes and exposed the true nature of my purpose and the joy of life in all its technicolour glory. I all of a sudden saw things in such magnificent colour and I was astounded that I never noticed such sights before.

Yes, I was unemployed but I have been before and probably will be again – I survived that. Yes, I was mentally and emotionally defeated but I have been before and probably will be again and guess what? I survived that too. I realised that I’m tired of just surviving, I want to start living! Living the best life I can with what is available to me.

So I’ll ask my question to you again;

Are you living your best life? And if not, when are you GOING to live your best life?


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Just some ramblings from ME - a "crazy" yet happy lady living with mental health and trying to navigate my way through this weird thing called Life.

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