“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity...”
– Melody Beattie
So it’s been a while since I’ve actually written a blog post. Normally I just chat complete drivel about the inner workings of my butthole whilst making stuff but I thought I should perhaps use the gifts I was blessed with and write something of substance this time. Whether or not this actually turns out to be substantial is yet to be seen and I shall leave that up to you!
So I’ve been thinking recently (which is super dangerous by the way and I wouldn’t encourage it) how just by adding a simple thing to your life can you change it dramatically. You all know that I’ve had my share of ups and downs and there has been a lot more downs mentioned in the earlier parts of my blog than ups!
Having being made to be incapacitated for a month and a bit, it gave me the time (whether I liked it or not) to really think about my life, where it was heading and whether I was living the best version of it. I remember how I always used to have such good intentions about being positive but the intentions never materialised. I used to read book after book on philosophy, Buddhism, emotional intelligence, I would meditate – I would work out (still swear by that by the way!) but kept on worrying about what I could lose or what I didn’t have and eventually the things I worried about actually happened. All the stuff I was dreading came true and do you know what? It was bloody AWESOME!
Now, hear me out – I bet you’re thinking: “Shrin, you’ve lost it. True, you never had it but now it’s definately gone” but seriously the worst things happened to me (or what I thought were the worst things ) I lost my job, I was having a huge mental breakdown, I was pining after an emotionally broken person, drinking myself into a state, my grandfather died and then I needed major surgery. I should have been laying face down on the ground, wallowing until the ground opened up and swallowed me whole, but in actual fact – I smiled.
Granted I did a lot of stupid dangerous soul destroying stuff waaaay before I smiled , but I did smile. Eventually. I lost (yet again) the stuff I thought I needed to be happy and survive but I had never felt more free. I began to see that what I initially thought was a necessity wasn’t even a luxury. All these things I was chasing never made me happy, if anything it made me feel even worse when I never got it or got it and then lost it. And even if I got it and kept it I was constantly worried about losing it!!! It was exhausting & I was getting really really fed up of this cycle I had trapped myself in.
I started being more introspective and changing my perspective, thinking: “I’m actually really lucky, I have lost my source of income and I can still afford to live and pay my bills – that’s nuts!” “I am so lucky that I am able to have access to healthcare and get an operation to help fix my stomach” “I am lucky that the last day I spent with my Grandfather he was so happy to see me!” “I am so lucky I have the emotionally capacity to love and love deeply” and these thoughts increased not only on things that some would call important but also on things that some would call trivial.
For example, I remember laying in bed getting ready to have a nap because I was in pain and it started to rain. I closed my eyes and heard the rain fall on my windowsill and I took a deep breath and said, out loud, “God, I am so lucky that I have the time and space to listen to the rain on my window. I am so grateful that I am able to experience something as simple and cleansing as Mother Nature” and I kid you not, I couldn’t stop smiling.
I started doing this every single day – with no pressure of keeping a list or an alarm to remind me – but just a few moments to reflect on how lucky I am to have this life and how grateful I am to be able to experience it in the way I am. By just being grateful for what I have has changed my entire outlook on my life – I am exponentially more happier, healthier and connected than I’ve ever been.
This is not to negate those emotions which come with bad days because what is good what the bad? But instead it has helped me to understand that even things that could be perceived as bad are just lessons to be learned and things to be grateful for because without them we wouldn’t grow as spiritual beings and we would appreciate the good in what we do have.
I have decide to work out what my truth is and trust in that. I have found that being grateful every day for even a few minutes works for me. So let me ask you this:
What works for you? And do you even know?
Peace and love