Greetings Earthlings, my name is Shrina and I have travelled from my home planet: Don’t-Fuck-With-Me and I came here to DESTROY YOU ALL!
Anywaaaay happy new year peoples. Yay we made it. 2018 for me was actually not too bad – bar the whole “grandad dying-job-discrimination-3-holes -in-my-butt” situation. I actually feel like this year made me become the best version of myself. I am probably in the best place I could be right now and that’s just fucking ACE & I couldn’t ask for anything more.
In the last month I decided to take some flower essences – a type of homeopathy, which I am SUPER into now having done research and tried some remedies (shout out to my main chick Elona Woods) I kid you not, they have changed my life. Anyway I started taking Woman – a flower essence to help regulate emotional patterns but also help to uncover childhood traumas. Within two days (after setting my intention on what I wanted to achieve) I noticed an effect and the resounding theme that came up for me was my feelings being silenced and my requests of being listened to and respected consistently being denied.
In light of many of thousands of women coming forward and fighting for justice and equal rights, I’ve realised that I too have a voice that needs to be heard and feelings that need to be expressed and what better time to do it then in the New Year.
This year I have decided to no longer dim my shine to make others, be them male or female, comfortable. When I say no, I mean no and the people in my life need to either respect that or quietly vibrate out of my consciousness. I am no longer going to apologise for how I feel and I shall make sure I express my feelings in a positive and productive way. For too long have I been living a life where I felt I needed to justify myself and allow unacceptable behaviour, especially from men. I am entitled to put up boundaries to protect myself. That doesn’t make me selfish, prudish or frigid. Most importantly, I am allowed to change my mind. If I felt one thing one day I am allowed to reflect and change my feelings or mind the next day or even the next second without fear of unjust punishment.
I am so sick and tired of feeling like a second class citizen because of the way I (and others) have been culturally conditioned all because I have a vagina, darker pigmented skin and a disability. I always thought it was the faults of others that made me feel this way and in 2018 I realised people were treating me like I was less than because I was allowing them to.
That is no longer going to happen.
I am who I am.
I am an opinionated, smart Indian female, who’s lived with a history of abuse, who has a mental health disability and has a chronic illness AND THAT IS OKAY. In fact, it’s better than okay. It’s great.
If someone in my life consistently goes against my wishes, makes me feel uncomfortable, puts me down, manipulates me, abuses my trust or tries to silence me and my feelings then I have a right to protect myself by cutting the cord and cutting them out of my life.
And if my truth ruffles your feathers then I suggest you close the door behind you as I’m only going scream out louder from here on out.